What a difference!

Many of you know that Pax was born with an eye abnormality.  To put it simply, his eyes took turns turning out.  I remember noticing something was different when he was itty bitty, but I never wanted to say anything out loud.  Saying it would mean it was real, and I didn't know how scary it might or might not be.  Well, I finally was put to terms with it one morning while taking him to daycare when he was about 8 or 9 months old. 

I was about to leave his daycare room when his teacher at the time asked had I seen anyone about his

eyes.  I replied, "no", and she quickly said, "I don't know if he can see."  Wow!  Let me tell you...this is something a parent NEVER wants to hear.  EVER.  Not knowing what to do, I kissed Pax goodbye and immediately left the room crying harder than the babies in the next room. 

When I got in the car, I called my mom and could barely get the words out of my mouth.  My grandmother works at an optometrist office, so we scheduled an appointment within 30 minutes.  The doctor examined his eyes, dilated them, etc. and referred us to a Pediatric Opthamologist at Duke.  He said this condition would need to be surgically corrected. 

Within a week or two, we went to Duke.  The opthamologist was (and still is) amazing!!  Yes, we were there to hear more news on his eye condition, but they made us feel as if it would magically disappear.  He was diagnosed with Exotropia and Astigmatism.  She told us that his brain would shut one eye off in order to focus with the other, and eventually after much "shutting off", he could go blind.  YIKES.  We were given lots of colorful eye patches for Pax to wear for a few hours each day, switching eyes, for a few months.  The patches would help strengthen the eye muscles and better determine which muscles needed to be cut, etc. when surgery day came.

The patches didn't work.  They were pretty much like stickers...but a lot more sticky.  Pax figured out how to take them off. 


On August 26, 2009, at 13 months old, we went to Duke for surgery day.  This was one of the scariest days of my life.  No parent wants to see their child be put to sleep...especially what I saw.  Because he was so young, they gave him a sleepy pill before the anesthesia.  The pill didn't make him sleepy, just a woozy feeling.  The nurses came to get him after about 30 minutes and asked me to go in the OR with them to "hold him down".  Again, not what you want to do...EVER.  I carried my baby boy into the OR, sat in a chair with him in my arms, and the nurses started putting a gas mask over his nose.  Pax went from cuddling against my chest to completely limp and dead weight in no time.  The nurses then grabbed him off my lab, put him on the table, and rushed me out of the room.  Talk about a nervous break down. 

The surgery was only to last about an hour.  Not so.  It lasted 3-4 hours.  His doctor had to cut more muscles than she thought.  When it was over, they allowed me to go back in recovery with him.  He woke up with bloody tears running down his cheeks.  He had stitches around his eye lids.  The whites of his eyes were completely red.  But, he never showed any pain.  Pax was a trooper!  The first thing he said when he opened his eyes was, "mama".  Melt my tender heart! 

....he didn't, however, say "mama" again for a good 3 months or so.  I'm not sure why, and I'll never know, but he makes up for it now!


When I look at him I still can't believe how straight his eyes are looking forward.  We go back to Duke this Tuesday to schedule another eye surgery...this time to correct his eyes when looking down.  This will eventually affect his ability to read comfortably if not corrected.  At least I know now how great the results will be!