Perspective.

Written by Regina Brett, 90 years old, of the Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio .

"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most requested column I've ever written.

My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come...
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."

I found this email waiting for me this morning.  Everything I read is SO true.  I've been able to learn a lot about myself in the past few years.  Tonight, I enjoyed a glass of wine with a dear friend of mine (Elizabeth Bischoff).  We've been through so much together, and have been friends since I don't know when.  We may not talk every day or every week for that matter, but we always pick up where we left off.  Cherish your friends.  Never lose touch with the ones that mean the most, no matter what.  Enjoy the little things.  Be happy in "the now" and live your days fully. 

I can say I had the times of my life before kids, but I can also say I've had the BEST times since having kids.  I can be a kid again when I'm with them, and make silly faces and dance around the room like a lunatic.  It's funny in the moment to them...and probably to my neighbors that can see us through the windows!  Maybe I should record some videos and post on here?!

Thanksgiving Weekend

First, Happy belated Thanksgiving!  We all ate and ate until we couldn't eat anymore.  I'll probably have to do a crash diet this week from everything I ate on Thanksgiving, but it was so good! 

I've enjoyed spending my 4 day weekend with my babies!  We've spent all weekend just relaxing and playing.  Ella has started trying to sit up and is getting pretty good at it.  I bought her a fuzzy bear outfit for the cold weather, and didn't think I would have to use it until at least late December...boy, was I wrong!  Yesterday I noticed our heat wasn't coming on, but I just thought it wasn't cold enough in the house for it to start up.  Well, early afternoon I messed with the thermostat to discover it was out of order!  Not good when you have an almost 6 month old and a 2 year old that doesn't like anything on his feet!  I quickly brought out the fuzzy bear outfit and couldn't get over how cute Ella looked!  I got a few pics of her in it trying to sit up! 

Luckily, Matt made a few phone calls and we got it fixed last night!  It was a simple fix and nothing major or too expensive.  Thank goodness!!

Now I can focus on bigger things...like Christmas shopping.  I honestly dread the shopping part, but can't wait to see my children's faces on Christmas morning!  Let's hope the heat doesn't go out again!

Supper Club!

So a bunch of girls and I have started a supper club!  Once a month we gather at one of our houses and eat, have a few drinks, and have lots of girl talk.  Let me tell you, it is WONDERFUL!  I couldn't ask for a better group of girls!  It's definitely good for the soul, especially when I don't get out much...well, not at all! 


At our first Sunday night supper club, we had a yummy mexican dinner at Ashley's house, and this past Sunday, I hosted it at my house.  We had a Thanksgiving theme, and everyone brought a dish.  Everything was beyond delicious!  My new favorite thing is pineapple casserole.  (Major props to Jennifer Woodall!)  I'm not sure what her recipe is, but I do know I'll be making this delicious treat very soon!  Here's the recipe I found from Paula Deen's website:

1 cup sugar (or sugar substitute)
6 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese
2 (20 ounce) cans pineapple chunks, drained
6 tablespoons pineapple juice reserved
1 cup Ritz cracker crumbs
8 tablespoons (1 stick) butter, melted, plus extra for greasing pan

Preheat oven to 350 degrees
Grease medium-size casserole dish with butter
In a large bowl, stir together the sugar and flour.  Gradually stir in the cheese.  Add the drained pineapple chunks, and stir until ingredients are well combined.  Pour the mixture into the casserole dish. 
In another medium bowl, combine the cracker crumbs, melted butter, and reserved pineapple juice, stirring until evenly blended.  Spread crumb mixture on top of pineapple mixture.  Bake for 25-30 minutes, or until golden brown. 


Disclaimer:  You may eat the entire dish in one sitting.  And, because it is a Paula Deen recipe, I wouldn't be surprised if there's more butter in this recipe than anyone else's would require.  Enjoy!

A Little Piece of Work

"Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life." - Confucius

Let me start off by saying I LOVE my job.  I can't imagine getting up every morning and absolutely dreading my day.  Who wants to live that way?  Granted, I would love to be home with my babies and am very envious of those that do, but I feel great about working. 

Many of you probably know, but I've been working at Sylvan for almost 5 years.  There is something amazing about working with children.  Not a day goes by that I don't hear a child say, "I get it!", or "I made 'such-and-such' grade on my test!".  As a parent, you want your children to succeed, and when you can help other children that are not your own succeed and give parents that wonderful feeling, it's fantastic! 

We have a high school student that has been with us for a while for various reasons...more enrichment than anything.  Today, she came on her regular day, but brought a cake to her teacher because she knew her birthday was this week.  How awesome is that?! 

There's even a little girl (7 years old) that comes to Sylvan to improve her reading.  She is picked on at school because she doesn't have much hair.  Kids at school think she has cancer.  She can't read, and barely knows how to write a single letter.  In just a few weeks, she's made tons of friends.  This little girl is constantly sick, and when she's not at Sylvan on her scheduled day, all of the other students ask where she is and if she's okay. 

These little things make my heart melt and assure me that I'm in the right profession.  Be happy with what you're doing and don't sweat the small stuff.  You're making a difference to someone.

What a difference!

Many of you know that Pax was born with an eye abnormality.  To put it simply, his eyes took turns turning out.  I remember noticing something was different when he was itty bitty, but I never wanted to say anything out loud.  Saying it would mean it was real, and I didn't know how scary it might or might not be.  Well, I finally was put to terms with it one morning while taking him to daycare when he was about 8 or 9 months old. 

I was about to leave his daycare room when his teacher at the time asked had I seen anyone about his

eyes.  I replied, "no", and she quickly said, "I don't know if he can see."  Wow!  Let me tell you...this is something a parent NEVER wants to hear.  EVER.  Not knowing what to do, I kissed Pax goodbye and immediately left the room crying harder than the babies in the next room. 

When I got in the car, I called my mom and could barely get the words out of my mouth.  My grandmother works at an optometrist office, so we scheduled an appointment within 30 minutes.  The doctor examined his eyes, dilated them, etc. and referred us to a Pediatric Opthamologist at Duke.  He said this condition would need to be surgically corrected. 

Within a week or two, we went to Duke.  The opthamologist was (and still is) amazing!!  Yes, we were there to hear more news on his eye condition, but they made us feel as if it would magically disappear.  He was diagnosed with Exotropia and Astigmatism.  She told us that his brain would shut one eye off in order to focus with the other, and eventually after much "shutting off", he could go blind.  YIKES.  We were given lots of colorful eye patches for Pax to wear for a few hours each day, switching eyes, for a few months.  The patches would help strengthen the eye muscles and better determine which muscles needed to be cut, etc. when surgery day came.

The patches didn't work.  They were pretty much like stickers...but a lot more sticky.  Pax figured out how to take them off. 


On August 26, 2009, at 13 months old, we went to Duke for surgery day.  This was one of the scariest days of my life.  No parent wants to see their child be put to sleep...especially what I saw.  Because he was so young, they gave him a sleepy pill before the anesthesia.  The pill didn't make him sleepy, just a woozy feeling.  The nurses came to get him after about 30 minutes and asked me to go in the OR with them to "hold him down".  Again, not what you want to do...EVER.  I carried my baby boy into the OR, sat in a chair with him in my arms, and the nurses started putting a gas mask over his nose.  Pax went from cuddling against my chest to completely limp and dead weight in no time.  The nurses then grabbed him off my lab, put him on the table, and rushed me out of the room.  Talk about a nervous break down. 

The surgery was only to last about an hour.  Not so.  It lasted 3-4 hours.  His doctor had to cut more muscles than she thought.  When it was over, they allowed me to go back in recovery with him.  He woke up with bloody tears running down his cheeks.  He had stitches around his eye lids.  The whites of his eyes were completely red.  But, he never showed any pain.  Pax was a trooper!  The first thing he said when he opened his eyes was, "mama".  Melt my tender heart! 

....he didn't, however, say "mama" again for a good 3 months or so.  I'm not sure why, and I'll never know, but he makes up for it now!


When I look at him I still can't believe how straight his eyes are looking forward.  We go back to Duke this Tuesday to schedule another eye surgery...this time to correct his eyes when looking down.  This will eventually affect his ability to read comfortably if not corrected.  At least I know now how great the results will be! 

Poor baby Ella

Please take some time and say a few prayers for sweet baby Ella.  She was sent home from daycare with a sick belly.  Really, she's had this going on for 2 straight weeks, but it's continued to get worse.  Fortunately, she acts like her normal happy self!  I took her to the doctor to get checked out, and they not only changed her milk to a soy formula, they also are testing her for SALMONELLA!  I'm pretty sure the test will be negative, but it's never a good feeling.  Poor baby is just teething, I think.  Not only that, Ella also has bronchiolitis (which is bronchitis for adults).  We now have an antibiotic, new formula, and can't go back to daycare until she has a negative test.  Blah!

superman & minnie mouse!

This post is a day late, but Happy Halloween!  Pax went as a very unenthused Superman, and Ella was a very happy Minnie Mouse!